Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Maude the Model. HA.

I was recently asked by my friend who is a designer to walk in her upcoming fashion parade for label Master/Slave. I agreed, having done it last year with a bunch of other friends who also fell into the 'I'm-in-TV-but-will-give-this-a-go' category. Faux-modeling is fun when you have a wingman.

Alas, that was not the case for this show. It was me...along with 9 other fresh-faced sixteen-year-olds who were officially with an agency. As I was busy pushing buttons into my iPhone trying to make deadline for my gaming column for teen girl mag 'Dolly', I was listening to these girls loudly talk about school and driving lessons. This - I was afraid to realise - was going to be a long afternoon.

I wore two incredibly gorgeous outfits - the first consisted of a two piece psychedelic pink, yellow and white spotty print; the first piece being the waist high swishy A-line skirt, the second being a creative long sleeved top that was short at the front (when I say short, I mean just covering my boobs) and long at the back, flowing all the way to the floor. The second dress was such a stand out. Designer Eleni really used the most gorgeous colour palette for her collection. This dress was a one shoulder floor length silk gown of deep blues, royal purples and black. The shoulder piece in itself was a feature; it was made completely of hand-sewn black and purple rose-like flowers which asymmetrically wrapped its way around my neck.

So, I was in love with the clothes. The shoes, however, hated me. They were easily 7 inches high - something a near 6ft girl would never dream of sliding on her foot, let alone wearing them, let alone strutting in them in the public view of critics. Sigh. I practiced walking in them for a few laps of the runway only to discover my ankles kept twisting in every 4 or so steps. Great.

After realising that not only was I geriatric compared to the other models, but they could in fact backflip in these shoes - I turned to twitter to mock my position in life. Trust me, it made the experience bearable. Here are the tweets (for more, follow me -

Reason why I make a terrible model #1 - I can't walk a step in the 8 inch heels they've provided. It's a catwalk show, all I do is walk. Hmm

Reason why I make a terrible model #2 - I'm 7 years OLDER than the others. Overhearing 'totes babes, probs defs'. Looking for sharp object

Reasons why i make a terrible model #3 - only one old enough to drink... Lots of filled champagne glasses...#trolliedinfivemins

Reasons why I make a terrible model #4 - writing a column in before deadline on my iPhone. Yeah, I have more than 1 job. Modeling isn't one

Reason #5 - apparently if you trip, u have to pretend it didn't happen. I will pretend I'm an evil monster that oozes acid from it's mouth.

Reason why I'm a terrible model #6 - my hairdresser is prettier than me. My hairdresser is a man.

Reason #7 - I have a pimple on my neck. Can't even blame it on a vampire bite cox there's only one puncture mark. #udontmakefriendswithacne

Reason why i make a terrible model #8 - because she is.

Here are some pics of me backstage with my friend Monique:
Check out the hair!
Here are some pics of me in action!
My first dress
My 2nd dress

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