Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I'm the Photo BOMB!


For the last few months I've taken a challenge to myself to become a professional photo bomber. It happened by accident; I was asked to step aside for a photo so that my friend could pose, so in retaliation I bombed the background of the pic with a revolting, distorted look on my face. Instant success. Ever since, I have not taken the art of photo bombing lightly one bit. I've been thrusting myself into the background of as many photos as I can, pulling the worst faces known to man. I feel my reputation is really taking off, as people now know to add me and tag me into these photos. I figure, why be in a good photo, when I can destroy a good photo?

I've compiled a collection of some of my better photo bombs, and have created a simple step-by-step formula to excel your photo bombing prowess.

STEP 1: LOOK OUT FOR GROUP PHOTO OPPORTUNITIES
Whenever a photo is being taken - it is usually of a group of people. Keep your eyes peeled when scanning the room for a staged group shot. Tip - group shots tend to be side by side, therefore position yourself neatly behind.


STEP 2: BE STEALTHY
You can't tell the person you're going to photobomb their photo. They shouldn't know what your intentions are. In fact, they shouldn't see you at all. Your biggest threat of discovery is by the person taking the photo. They're looking at the people they're taking the photo of, so avoid eye contact with them. It also helps if their is a pillar or another person to stand behind for a cover. Tip - wander around either with a purpose or like you're lost into the back ground. Do not look at the camera until the very last second. The person taking the photo usually does a count down - listen out for this. IMPORTANT - as soon as the picture is taken WALK AWAY. View from a distance when they all look at the camera to check the shot (no one can take a photo and not look at it straight after these days!) so you need to be out of sight by the time this happens.

STEP 3: UGLY IS BETTER
When you've established your prime position and are listening to the count down - think of what face you're going to pull. Never smile, it looks like you're chiming in. The face you pull really determines the level of photo bombing you wish to pursue. Opt for something disgusting, outrageous or just plain feral. This will make sure you stand out, and that you've completely ruined a good photo.



STEP 4: GET CREATIVE
This last step is to be attempted once all the other steps are mastered. It is now time to go above and beyond the act of photo bombing. Try out a few new moves, all whilst maintaining a high standard of stealth. 'New Moves' may include jumping in the background of the shot, looking like you're actually supposed to be in the shot by joining on at one side (simply walk past the group shot, stop for the photo, then continue walking), looking like you're going to be sick in someone's hair, or trying out a double bomb (you + a mate). TIP - if you get caught, act like you're completely unaware of what is happening. Have a prepared cover up story, like trying to find the toilets, or looking for a mate.



If you've done an epic photobomb, I'd love to see it!



Wednesday, April 7, 2010

FIRST IMPRESSIONS


So my very first gaming column for Dolly Magazine has come out! I'm very thrilled to be writing about games for the girls of Aus. This issue is all about getting to know me - gaming wise.

Also on the note of First Impressions, I find it only fitting to talk about the games I'm playing at the moment!
I have a awfully bad habit of starting a brand new game, playing it until I get stuck (or die before a save and can't be assed backtracking) and give up on it, where it collects dust. This has happened one too many times, and I must make a stand on the abuse of my game playing!
So before I take a vow to finish every game I start (gulp) I thought I'd give share my FIRST IMPRESSIONS of the games I've started recently.

WARNING - SPOILER ALERT

Assassins Creed II:
Yes, I blogged about falling in love with the first one, and couldn't bare the thought of finishing its predecessor before testing out the sequel. From the three hours that I'd played, I found out I prefer the start of the first Assassins Creed. Ouch. And I also didn't like the character I am now as much, or the era, or the use of currency. But I'll just have to call the WAHHmbulance and finish this game, with a smile on my face.

Eternal Sonata:
Another game I'd gloated about guaranteed and endless love for. Guess what? I don't. In fact, the story line is morbid, and the fighting sequences so repetitive I only lasted a few hours. I really don't want to have to finish this game, so maybe lets pretend I didn't buy this one at all? I'm pretty sure it was less than $20... good riddance.

Mass Effect:
WHY DID I NOT HAVE THIS GAME EARLIER?? What an RPG. And here I was, disillusioned with the thought that I preferred fantasy over science fiction. This game is brilliant! I'm loving the ferociousness of my heroine, the fact that the story-line doesn't completely fly over my head and the diversity in alien species. I bought this one so I could dabble before I bought Mass Effect 2 - and now I can hardly wait to finish this before I conquer the next. YEAH!!

Lost Odyssey:
This game started off SO promising. The graphics blew me away. I love to be a hero that is indestructible - it means you don't eve have to enter the 'God Mode' cheat! I grew quickly tired of the dreams that were unveiled...reading for 5 minutes with corny background music and slideshow effects just aint my thing. Bloodthirsty and ready for battle, I was again disappointed by the fighting regime. Being a console game I was expecting quicktime play, or 'tap-a-button-to-destroy-enemies' kind of fighting. Not 'you-may-as-well-be-playing-final-fantasy-on-DS' fighting. Massive let down. It just gets so repetitive and dull, and there simply is not even motivation to even use a strategy. Close, Lost Odyssey, but no cigar.


There is also a list of games that I have played, and ignored for so long I forget how to even play the game anymore. I have no idea where I am or what to do next. If any of the games I have listed are worth it - please let me know!

Wii -
Zelda: Twilight Princess
Super Mario Bros Wii
Lego Star Wars
Lego Batman
Star Wars - Force Unleashed
Metroid: Prime Trilogy (embarrassing confession - I haven't even put this in the console yet!)

Xbox 360 -
Halo ODST
GTA IV
Dragon Age (but have clocked in about 40 hrs game time, and just started a new character so not too fussed, just a tad over having to do it all again)
Oblivion (yeah yeah... I'm just not as into it as Fable II and DA!)

DSi -
Zelda - Phantom Hourglass
Final Fantasy IV, VII, XII
Professor Layton I & II


I'd also love to hear your top 5 fav games of all time!

GET GAMING GEEKS!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

MAUDE MAY MOVE




You can now also find me at maudegarrett.wordpress.com

I just bought maudegarrett.com and am in the process of making my own website - so stay tuned for that too!


Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Maude the Model. HA.

I was recently asked by my friend who is a designer to walk in her upcoming fashion parade for label Master/Slave. I agreed, having done it last year with a bunch of other friends who also fell into the 'I'm-in-TV-but-will-give-this-a-go' category. Faux-modeling is fun when you have a wingman.

Alas, that was not the case for this show. It was me...along with 9 other fresh-faced sixteen-year-olds who were officially with an agency. As I was busy pushing buttons into my iPhone trying to make deadline for my gaming column for teen girl mag 'Dolly', I was listening to these girls loudly talk about school and driving lessons. This - I was afraid to realise - was going to be a long afternoon.

I wore two incredibly gorgeous outfits - the first consisted of a two piece psychedelic pink, yellow and white spotty print; the first piece being the waist high swishy A-line skirt, the second being a creative long sleeved top that was short at the front (when I say short, I mean just covering my boobs) and long at the back, flowing all the way to the floor. The second dress was such a stand out. Designer Eleni really used the most gorgeous colour palette for her collection. This dress was a one shoulder floor length silk gown of deep blues, royal purples and black. The shoulder piece in itself was a feature; it was made completely of hand-sewn black and purple rose-like flowers which asymmetrically wrapped its way around my neck.

So, I was in love with the clothes. The shoes, however, hated me. They were easily 7 inches high - something a near 6ft girl would never dream of sliding on her foot, let alone wearing them, let alone strutting in them in the public view of critics. Sigh. I practiced walking in them for a few laps of the runway only to discover my ankles kept twisting in every 4 or so steps. Great.

After realising that not only was I geriatric compared to the other models, but they could in fact backflip in these shoes - I turned to twitter to mock my position in life. Trust me, it made the experience bearable. Here are the tweets (for more, follow me - twitter.com/maudelicious).


Reason why I make a terrible model #1 - I can't walk a step in the 8 inch heels they've provided. It's a catwalk show, all I do is walk. Hmm

Reason why I make a terrible model #2 - I'm 7 years OLDER than the others. Overhearing 'totes babes, probs defs'. Looking for sharp object

Reasons why i make a terrible model #3 - only one old enough to drink... Lots of filled champagne glasses...#trolliedinfivemins

Reasons why I make a terrible model #4 - writing a column in before deadline on my iPhone. Yeah, I have more than 1 job. Modeling isn't one

Reason #5 - apparently if you trip, u have to pretend it didn't happen. I will pretend I'm an evil monster that oozes acid from it's mouth.

Reason why I'm a terrible model #6 - my hairdresser is prettier than me. My hairdresser is a man. http://twitpic.com/126tu6

Reason #7 - I have a pimple on my neck. Can't even blame it on a vampire bite cox there's only one puncture mark. #udontmakefriendswithacne

Reason why i make a terrible model #8 - because she is. http://twitpic.com/126xh8

Here are some pics of me backstage with my friend Monique:
Check out the hair!
Here are some pics of me in action!
My first dress
My 2nd dress

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Confessions of a Gamer


I've already dropped the bomb about me having a headset to wear while playing my Xbox online.

That is nothing compared to this next confession.

I've been really, obscenely hooked on Pokemon Diamond on the DSi. I'm talking 7 hours a day. I can hear the music circling through my head when I'm not even playing the game; when the console is shut off and put away. I dream about Psyducks and Ponyta's. I gotta freaking catch them all!

Nintendo released 3 Pokemon games at around the same time - Pokemon Diamond, Pearl and Platinum - all with subtle differences (Platinum having the more noticeable differences). They have a handful of different Pokemon that you can only get in that particular game. I bought the only friend who would be semi excited to play Pokemon the Platinum edition, while I opted for the Diamond. Turns out he's a freak for the game, even more so than I am. This comes in handy when we want to trade Pokemon that can only evolve through said process, to catch the rare Pokemon for each other to have and to keep a 'friendly' competitive nature between us so neither slackens off for even a day.

I have 7 Gym badges after only 33 hours of play. Not sure if this is something to brag about or not - but I find the game a little easy. Every Pokemon is strong against some types, but weak against others. When you battle a Gym leader, you're told what type of Pokemon they use, whether it's grass or electric. So you go in armed with all your Pokemon that destroy that type with one move. It's pretty fun wiping them out - even if they only ever just 'faint'. Trust me, if I was getting stomped, fire burned and high kicked by a Pokemon I'd wanna hope I only fainted too.

I'm about to battle the 'Elite Four' in the game - who are pretty much the final boss's. The funny thing is - for a Pokemon game, I don't even have a Pikachu. ?!?

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Rookie Bookie

Books. Yeah, I read 'em.
And to prove it, I'm going to write a little review on the ones I have read recently. Last week alone I read 3! Since then I've read another 2. Go me. Just showing you I can actually put down the controller, get up from the couch, and mosey up to my room to read for hours on end. Such is life.

Epilogue
Yes, I've read Twilight. I read the series after it being strongly suggested to me by a friend (way before the movies). Yes, I enjoyed them. Yes, I'm on Team Jacob. Or Edward. Screw it, I'm probably on Team Emmett. I read all 4 books in 5 days. Each day I would wake up, frantically wait until 10am then walk to the book store just around the corner from my house and purchase the next one. So yeah, I get vampires. I like the idea of them too. I recommended the series to my Mum (an avid reader) and she bloody loved them too. But she remained addicted to vamp novels, and continued to purchase every vamp series the book shops could offer her to satisfy her thirst (pun intended). There are hits and misses in vamp series as you'll see. And I'm not just reading Vamp novels either.

Vampire Academy Series by Richelle Mead
- Vampire Academy
- Frostbite
- Shadow Kiss
- Blood Promise
I liked this series. The books are very easy to read - I was reading one a day. The female protagonist Rose is strong, sharp and witty - everything Bella from Twilight wasn't. The author also creates new elements about the Vampire world which work effectively. For instance, there are two types of vampires - Moroi (who are alive and wield elemental powers, which I believe could have been played up more) and the Strigoi who are undead, evil, and kill people to eat. Then you have the Dhampirs (Rose), a half human/half Moroi who's sole job is to protect the Moroi (her best friend) from being attacked by Strigoi. Sounds complicated, but it works.
It can be a bit teenagey here and there because most of the series is set in a boarding school-like scenario, and is trying to be the next epic love tale. On the whole, not bad! 7.5/10

The Mortal Instruments Trilogy by Cassandra Clarke
- City of Bones
- City of Ashes
- City of Glass
For once, Vampires are not the main supernatural specimens. You explore a world of Shadow Hunters who's job it is to control the peace pact between the Downworlders (werewolves, vamps, faeries, warlocks etc) and to slay demons from other dimensions. It takes a new direction in fanatical magic, obtaining health, stealth, strength and luck by drawing the corresponding runes onto their skin, leaving black tattoo-like marks all over their body.
The story revolves around the are-they-or-aren't-they siblings/lovers Clary and Jace. Clary discovers the existence of demons and Shadow Hunters, when in fact she shouldn't be able to see them at all. The Shadow Hunter in question is the angelic looking Jace - who every girl under 25 will just lust after. He holds a lot of his upbringing on his shoulders, something it seems only Clary can remove.
The three books seem to offer something new in each - and special mention goes to the character of Simon - Clary's unsuspecting but incredibly funny best friend who gives many of the best one liners. I also think he wears a Star Wars and a gaming shirt throughout the series - my kinda guy!
7.5/10

How to Break Your Own Heart - Maggie Alderson
I've read all of Maggie's previous books, and adored them all. It's definitely a girly girls book - where you live out your fantasies of good looks, great jobs, tons of money and amazing lifestyles. This book is set in England, which is the first time her books have ventured away from the familiar shores of Sydney. It's about late-thirties Amelia, who has been married to her perfect husband for the last 15 years of her life. Everything seems oh-so-fabulous darrrling, except he doesn't want kids. Eep.
Fun and light to read - watch for the character of Kikki, a crazy, floozy girlfriend with far too much money and no requirement to work for it. 7/10

House of Night Series by P.C + Kristin Cast
- Marked
- Bunch of others you dont need to know
Put simply - these series are so very bad. It is written as if it's for 10 year olds, but in the first third of the book the lead character catches a girl trying to give a 'uber hawt' guy a blow job. ???I will not read past the first book, that was hard enough for me. They try to pass Faith Hill of as being a 'Vampyre' and use the word 'poopie'. No thanks. 2/10.

Evernight - Claudia Gray
I didn't mind this book. It is set in the usual boarding-school surroundings and focus on the school, students and studies at a darkly school called Evernight (cough, Harry Potter). But this book threw me out - there are 2 main twists that weren't as predictable as other books I've read. That's a good start! They are definitely trying to do the whole epic love story thing here, and the whole forbidden love thing too. How original. Problem is I don't know enough about these characters (Bianca and Lucas) to really yearn for them, with them and to really feel anything for them. In fact, I like the other guy that is in the class called Balthazar, he is very well-mannered and I think more boys should take a leaf out of his book. Even if he is a vampire. Spoiler. Whoops. Not too sure if I'll read the other 2 in this series: Stargazer and Hourglass (due for release this year)
6.5/10

Ender's Game - Orson Scott Card
This is not fantasy. There are no supernatural species. This, I'm proud to say, is science fiction. I don't read sci-fi. But this book is AWESOME.
Written in 1985 by the unusually named author, it is set in the future during a century of war with insectiod aliens called 'Buggers'. The story follows Andrew 'Ender' Wiggin from 6 years of age, when he is plucked from school to start at the Battle School to train him up to become a fleet commander. Ender is a child genius, as are his two older siblings. His eldest brother was too cruel and ruthless, his sister Valentine too compassionate and kind. Ender was the perfect balance of both, and showed tactical perfection in both training and games. He rises through the 'ranks' at an unheard of pace - keeping up with the students many years older. It is a real psychological journey in Enders mind, observing what decisions are being made by the head of the school to make him the ultimate person to save the planet from a future invasion.
It is so cleverly written that it absorbed me in. I felt so empathic for Ender, and the amount of pressure thrown on him is exhausting. It is such a good read, one I did in less than a day. It has won a lot of awards, and it's obvious why. 9/10

Dead Until Dark - Charlaine Harris
Otherwise known as True Blood on television. There are a hell of a lot of books in this series.
I've wanted to read these books as I'd started watching the series on Showtime and enjoyed it. I got a little lost at one stage, then I fell behind, then gave up. Reading the books let me do it at my own pace, but the characters have already been created for me. It is a fun book. There is lots going on, and major things are dropped in, like mind-reading, vampires and shape-shifting without much exposition or explanation. But it works! Sookie Stackhouse is such a gal. She knows how to hold her own with a smile on her face, and has been through a lot without wanting to throw pain back at the world. The book is very similar to the series - but there is no Tara yet! Thank god! That girl irks me to tears. I really enjoyed this book and will read the entire series. 8.5/10


Currently reading:

Graceling - Kristin Cashore

Wednesday, December 9, 2009